Pop Culture Polar Bear

There is no gray area.

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Female Empowerment Friday - 

You did it! You made it through the week! You only have a few hours left until sweet, sweet freedom. And you’re awesome. Did I mention how great you are?

Enter Ingrid Michaelson to give you that final boost. “Girls Chase Boys” is the first single off her new album Lights Out which came out this past Tuesday, and it’s great. And its video is superb. And its message is pretty clear, and pretty darn accurate if you ask me.

I just love her. I just love this song. And I also just love you! Probably. Even if I don’t know you and love you, I’m still rooting for you to have an awesome, empowered Friday thanks to feminists like Ingrid.

Go kill it!!! Buy Ingrid Michaelson’s new album because she’s the best, and CHASE SOME BOYS TONIGHT!

Filed under ingrid michaelson girls chase boys lights out Female Empowerment female empowerment friday friday robert palmer

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Henley Monday - 
MONDAY indeed! It’s certainly not the best of times over here, and I need all the strength and inspiration I can get to deal with just today. 
Enter this rugged man. He’s just a man, we don’t know who he is or what films he’s been in. We can make up anything we want about him. I, for instance, have chosen to believe that he is a Welsh sailor looking off into the distance at his grand ship that takes him all over the world, but his heart is always wandering home. Isn’t that nice? I think so.
What do you want his story to be? Day dream about it while the time tick-tocks away and you can be home once more.

Henley Monday - 

MONDAY indeed! It’s certainly not the best of times over here, and I need all the strength and inspiration I can get to deal with just today. 

Enter this rugged man. He’s just a man, we don’t know who he is or what films he’s been in. We can make up anything we want about him. I, for instance, have chosen to believe that he is a Welsh sailor looking off into the distance at his grand ship that takes him all over the world, but his heart is always wandering home. Isn’t that nice? I think so.

What do you want his story to be? Day dream about it while the time tick-tocks away and you can be home once more.

Filed under Henley Monday sgt pepper clothing sailor Beards henleys menswear mens fashion mondays hot guys

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Female Empowerment Friday - 

It’s been a long week for most of us, and I would say you’ve more than earned a little dance party. So click play and let the moves just flow out of you. You are a beautiful woman who gets to call all the shots in your own love life and make men promise they won’t fall in love with you, because you’re that irresistible. That’s right.

Have a great weekend, ladies! I’ll just be over here chair dancing like a madwoman!

Filed under robyn hang with me female empowerment female empowerment friday dance party

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Henley Monday - 

It is no secret to my readers/friends/family/colleagues/casual acquaintances that Chris Evans is my main squeeze. And what with the last month’s ever increasing publicity for the new Captain America: The Winter Soldier premiering here in the states in JUST THREE DAYS, I’ve been like a hog in mud. So much Chris Evans everywhere all the time in all sorts of outfits like sweaters and tuxes and THREE PIECE EMERALD GREEN SUITS (IT WAS REAL. IT HAPPENED.).

But perhaps no piece of clothing has been favored quite like the henley. The first picture is from a day of press he did and there are infinity shots of him and his tattoo out here on tumblr for you. I just picked one of my faves. And the second photo is from his spread in the current issue of Variety. And there were at least three other henleys that aren’t even pictured here. I mean, my cup runneth over!

HAPPY CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER WEEK EVERYBODY!

Filed under Chris Evans captain america captain america: th The Avengers Steve Rodgers henleys Henley Monday variety the winter soldier

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Female Empowerment Friday - 

Is this going to become a regular thing? I dont know! You tell me! But for right now just listen to this kick ass song sung by two kick ass women and feel empowered and feel open to all the love you deserve because you probably don’t give yourself enough credit and DAMMIT you should!

Listen to it once for the sheer amazingness of the vocals, then listen to it again for comprehension. Take it all in and go out into the world like you f***ing own because you do, you woman of strength, power, and beauty.

Filed under female empowerment ready to be loved pasek and paul patina miller shayna steele friday EDGES self love

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Henley Monday - 
It’s still ungodly cold in much of the northern United States, and now more than ever we need men in henleys to warm us right up. Enter the fourth man named Chris to be presented as the weekly Henley Monday: Chris Pratt. 
This is him last week at the Parks & Recreation PaleyFest panel. He….has gone through quite the transformation for his upcoming role in Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy. It’s pretty special. I mean, come on THAT FACE. That ADORABLE man. His character on Parks has always been one of my favorites and now that he looks like this, I might just be in full blown love.
Keep it up, Chris Pratt! We love you!

Henley Monday - 

It’s still ungodly cold in much of the northern United States, and now more than ever we need men in henleys to warm us right up. Enter the fourth man named Chris to be presented as the weekly Henley Monday: Chris Pratt. 

This is him last week at the Parks & Recreation PaleyFest panel. He….has gone through quite the transformation for his upcoming role in Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy. It’s pretty special. I mean, come on THAT FACE. That ADORABLE man. His character on Parks has always been one of my favorites and now that he looks like this, I might just be in full blown love.

Keep it up, Chris Pratt! We love you!

Filed under chris pratt andy dwyer Parks and Recreation parks and rec paleyfest guardians of the galaxy peter quill star-lord Henley Monday henleys

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Anonymous asked: During The Women Tell All, Juan Pablo said "ees okay" to Andi several times because he knew she didn't like it. What a douche thing to do. He was so smug about it too!

Smug is the optimum word, for sure. He just had this chip on his shoulder that he couldn’t shake off towards the end. I didn’t start out hating this guy, but he didn’t leave an inch of space for me to forgive him at any point along the way. Such a frustrating thing to watch. This interview with Chris Harrison after the finale is pretty interesting and seems to pinpoint some of the things I’ve been feeling about old JuanPa but couldn’t put a finger on: 

Leave it to Chris Harrison to bring me the peace of mind and understanding I need. Three cheers for Chrarrison!

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The Bachelor - After the Final Rose Recap

Jumping straight into After the Final Rose because never before have we needed to have so many questions answered. I’m so confused about so many things, and I need Chrarrison to pull me through.

“Why was ‘I like you a lot’ enough for Nikki to accept the final rose?” Chris Harrison asks us. Why, indeed, Chris? Why, indeed?

No time is wasted bringing Clare on stage in a stunning black leather, a-line dress. Girl has style. I think it speaks to the depth of the lack of character of Juan Pablo that I went from being so annoyed with Clare to being so completely on her side.

Chris asks her about what happened that made her so sure of that proposal. She talks about the night in her hotel room where he had every opportunity to ACTUALLY be honest with her. “Tell me your fears because these are mine. Tell me your worries because these are mine. Tell me your doubts because I’ll be out of here,” she says. And she also explains how disappointing it was to hear Juan Pablo say something so offensive and rude to her in the helicopter. “I was definitely wearing those rose colored glasses,” she says about her temporary forgiveness.

“I should have left. My gut was right on. I should have left,” Clare admits. Chris Harrison is very respectful in his questioning. I think we get the answers we want to hear from Clare without feeling like Chris is peeling her open against her will. So respectful is he, in fact, that he asks if she wants to talk to and see Juan Pablo tonight. She says no. “Because never before had I been able to stand up to a man like that before…It was so liberating to stand there and say ‘this is how I feel and it’s not okay’” she explains. That was her closure. And that was enough. The audience applauds wildly.  Goodnight, Clare. I wish you good things in your life. I hope you can take this opportunity to relax and let love come to you when it’s ready. Who am I anymore? I don’t know, but I genuinely want that for her.

“Finally,” is the first thing Juan Pablo says as he comes out on stage. He sends a quick shout out to pray for Venezuela in their time of turmoil. Indeed. But let’s not stray from the point. “At the end of the day I had to make the decision that was right for me and it is what it is,” he explains about what happened. WHO TAUGHT HIM THOSE WORDS?! I’LL FIND YOU.

This guy is so full of hot air. He blathers on for a while about how hard it was for him and how he did the math that there were so many hours he spent on the show but only twenty hours were seen. And then Chris Harrison politely interrupts, as is custom for a host to do when the contestant is blathering. And Juan Pablo says, “Um can I talk?! Hoo! Can I talk?” and Chrarrison bowls right over him because NO. YOU CAN’T TALK YOU DOLLOP OF PRIMORDIAL OOZE. NO ONE DISRESPECTS MY CHRIS HARRISON. THAT MAN IS A SAINT AND A TREASURE. YOU SHUT UP.

When Chris asks him if he would have done anything differently regarding the helicopter comments, Juan Pablo demures that things were private and should be kept private and there are many things we didn’t hear. “Why should I have regret?” he asks. He genuinely doesn’t know to what Chris is referring. He doesn’t know that Clare was deeply offended by him saying “I don’t know you but I like f***ing you.” The rat bastard.

Juan Pablo goes away and we tromp Nikki out. She finally got her blond roots fixed and she is in a smoldering red dress. She is still in love. And she does not know if Juan Pablo is in love with her. “Um, not exactly,” is how she responds to the question “Has he told you that he loves you?”. I don’t know. Gah. Now we’re in the territory where it’s hard to tell what is truth and what is not. Do I feel like at this point he should know whether or not he loves her? Yes. If he does love her should he be telling her? Yes! Does he need to shout it from the mountain tops? Not necessarily, but he should TELL HER.

The couple finally reunites on TV and cuddle up on the couch. Juan Pablo is very excited that the trying four months in secret is over. When Chris Harrison asks what the big surprise he had promised to the producers in St. Lucia is, Juan Pablo plays dumb. He doesn’t know about any surprises. Nikki is his surprise but there are no other surprises.

So then Chris Harrison has to fill time. And he decides to pepper Juan Pablo with questions about how exactly he feels about Nikki. He wants him to say he loves her. But he won’t. And Nikki hasn’t said a word the whole time. She’s like a silent prisoner wife being obedient and silent, and it’s hard to watch. This is a smart, strong, independent woman, but she seems so complacent and deadened.

Juan Pablo goes on and on and on about how it’s personal and he’s not going to just say it to say it and he wants to be honest. He disrespects Chrarrison AGAIN by calling him out for interrupting him. Rude.

We get Sean Lowe’s opinion on the matter. He basically says that everyone is different, to each their own, but it is part of the process to lose a certain amount of privacy. And it is Sean’s nature to tell a woman the second he feels it to let her know he loves her! To tell her and hear it back!

“This is supposed to be the good part!…This is the time to shine and express your feelings!” Chris says.

Juan Pablo won’t play along. Nikki finally gets to chime in after being asked how she feels about it. She basically says that they are happy. They are treating it like a real relationship. That unlike other couples who come on After the Final Rose, they are actually a real couple who aren’t just saying they’re in love because they’re supposed to. On the one hand, yes. Maybe it’s good you’re taking it slower than others have in the past, but also I think if you’re with a guy who can’t say the words “I love you” to you, that’s not a great sign.

“Our plans changed drastically two weeks ago after the filming of the Women Tell All, but you know, it’s private. Now begins the private part of our lives,” Juan Pablo says of the future of their relationship. Ok, buddy. Yeah. “now” being after the full week of interviews you are contractually obligated to give to all the shows on ABC and the tabloids and magazines and everything? Ok great.

Nikki silently sits there and lets Juan Pablo talk for her. He kindly disagrees with Sean’s opinion that it’s not public, it’s private. And Sean shakes his head and laughs, “I hate to burst your bubble, buddy, but after this it doesn’t stay private.”

And his lovely wife Catherine chimes in saying how confusing this whole thing is, and “This show is about love and finding someone…don’t slap the hand that fed you.” Juan Pablo doesn’t know that expression, which I won’t fault him for. But I agree 100% with Catherine. He signed up for this. This is part of the deal.

Chris agrees too and explains that he understands wanting to keep some parts private, but why wouldn’t you want to celebrate the good part which is that Juan Pablo did find someone to be happy with and that he loves, yet refuses to say.

“Twelve years I’ve been doing this! This is a Bachelor first. Easily,” Chris Harrison shrugs to camera and then promises us the big reveal of the next Bachelorette.

Who, if we couldn’t have predicted beforehand, we now all know is Andi, our plucky ADA from Atlanta. This is perfect. I think Andi gets the show. She gets the process and is “open to the process”. I think Andi has just the right amount of chutzpa to have a sense of humor about things, but still ultimately be successful in this. I like Andi a lot, and I’m really looking forward to her upcoming season.

She comes on stage in an awesome silver sequined mini dress. She is breathless and nervous, but is stunning. “I just don’t wanna pop this dress!” she says. That is exactly the kind of spunk we need! Chris Harrison and she joke along to make sure she understands the process will be televised and that if she falls in love and might have to tell the world. She feels all in and is so ready for this. She is ready to fall in love and maybe get engaged.

Which might happen sooner rather than later! In two short months I’ll be back doing weekly recaps, as always on Wednesday. Please feel free to submit questions and comments, I always do my best to get back to you. It’s so much fun for me to get to know people from all over the world who love this show. It’s such a weird, great thing knowing so many people give a rat’s behind what I have to say about all the madness. It is appreciated and so delightful.

So until the Bachelorette is back on our TV screens, follow along here at the blog for all sorts of pop culture fun. Follow along with me over on Twitter @Chasspod. And as always, besos mis amores. Stay awesome. 

Filed under the bachelor juan pablo juan pablo galavis clare crawley nikki ferrell after the final rose chris harrison bachelor recap tv recaps sean lowe abc abc bachelor andi dorfman the bachelorette

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The Bachelor - The Final Rose Recap

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It’s finally here everybody. Our long national nightmare is coming to an end. The Vile Beast of a man, Juan Pablo, is going to make his final decision and give out a final rose. Or will he? Or, will he give the rose and be rejected? I hope so. I hope Juan Pablo ends up cold and alone to fully ruminate on his horrible behavior and how it got him NOTHING. But let’s not put the cart before the horse.

Open to Chris Harrison standing on his victory dais in the middle of the studio audience filled with single ladies and matronly moms, as well as a few Bachelor Family all-stars. He promises us that Juan Pablo has a big surprise planned, and that we will get answers to many of the burning questions we’ve had all season like IS JUAN PABLO THE WORST DUDE, OR THE WORST DUDE?

The first third of the episode is dedicated to the ladies meeting and being interviewed by Juan Pablo’s family. The whole clan of Galavis’ are there: mom, dad, brother Rodrigo, sister Anita (from Venezuela!), with his niece, and cousin Rodolfo and his clear braces. Clare has the first family day, and is, of course, all smiles and excitement.

“Today, I’m gonna keep an eye on Clare to see how she interacts, and I’m gonna see how she is with my family,” Juan Pablo explains. Sounds cool and possessive. Clare comes in and everyone is just lovely, and Camila is being freaking adorable. Clare cannot handle how wonderful it is to see Juan Pablo with his daughter. She says it makes him even sexier to see him being a good dad.

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When asked about kids and family, Clare is giving all the appropriate answers that she wants a big family. She’s charming and bubbly. Her time talking to his mother is sweet. She seems lovely. But she does warn Clare, “He sometimes is very rude…his honesty but he says the things very rude.” They bond over the fact that he has made both of them cry! DELIGHTFUL AND ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR!

Rodolfo and his clear braces are very intense in their questioning. He right away asks if she is in love and she says she’s “definitely falling in love with him.” Then he says that when things get rough, Juan Pablo likes to walk away, but can Clare have the strength to hold on?  She says that the one thing she is sure of is how much she loves. And I like that answer, but I don’t like the question. Maybe Juan Pablo should work on fighting to keep a relationship instead of walking away when things get rough?

His dad is an absolute DOLL. He is so warm and welcoming to Clare. He calls her a mature, secure, wonderful woman and that he loves her already. Clare says he’s a gentleman and can see where Juan Pablo gets it. I say, how can his dad be such a kind, warm gentleman and Juan Pablo such a narcissistic dick hole?

Back in the live studio audience, Chris Harrison promises this to be “the most controversial finale in Bachelor history…I never use that word”. Chris Harrison is becoming sentient. When he asks the audience if they think it’s going to be Clare there is a slow smattering of applause, but for Nikki there is a dull roar.

But here comes Nikki’s family “date”! Cousin Rodolfo is very excited to meet her, but why aren’t we talking more to hot brother Rodrigo? Hot brother Rodrigo has more of the tall, dark, and handsome Latin look. More Rodrigo, por favor!

Nikki sits down with his dad. She has all the right answers about wanting a family, but then Dad warns her, “You know, he’s not an easy guy. It’s always what he wants…he thinks he knows the truth of everything. Everything!” And THAT is accurate. What has frustrated me so much about Juan Pablo is that he has never once admitted fault in any sense, for anything. He has never apologized or acknowledged that maybe he messed up, only placed blame because to him that’s the truth. It’s infuriating for someone to never be vulnerable enough to admit to fault.

With his mother, Nikki and she discuss what a weekend might look like with JP and Camila. She says he’s a very simple, normal guy, and asks if that’s really what Nikki wants. “Juan Pablo is not easy, but she’s very strong. If he asks her, I think she’s going to say yes,” his mom tells us.

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Rodolfo and his braces are taking this way too seriously. You are just cousin Rodolfo! ¡Relájate! He once again brings up that when things get rough Juan Pablo tends to walk away. Red flags! So many red flags all over the place! His whole family has told both women how challenging Juan Pablo can be! HIS OWN FAMILY IS THROWING HIM UNDER THE BUS.

But Nikki feels more confident than ever that Juan Pablo is the guy for her and that he will be down on one knee in just a few days. She’s so excited for it. Dummy.

Before we get to the final dates for each woman, we have a chat with the live studio audience for their thoughts. Normally I hate this blatant running out the clock, but in this case, I want to hear how everyone is feeling about JP. Not great it turns out. The first woman stands up and just says, “This is going south real fast. This is gonna end bad. The family warned both of the gals against him, and they were like ‘it’s ok’ but it’s not ok!” And Chrarrison GIGGLES. He straight up GIGGLES “ees not okay!”

Then we talk to a dude to get his perspective; he’s Team Nikki. His wife thinks it’s hard to get a read on Juan Pablo. The third woman also feels it’s strange that his family warned the women about him being difficult. So now we get to the Bach Fam! I love them. Arie is there! But we go straight to Kelly because she’s the smartest and best. She repeats the same thing about the red flags being everywhere and both women ignoring them.

Catherine, wife of Sean, sheds light onto the tendency of women to ignore any warnings or red flags for the sake of wanting a relationship to work out so badly. It’s true. That woman is so wise.

In keeping with order, Clare has her last full day date with Juan Pablo first. The producers have decided to bless us with the helicopter ride we have been so greatly missing. They are both over the moon excited to be together and spend quality time. The helicopter takes off and the music soars! It’s beautiful! It’s extremely romantic to Clare!

Disaster strikes quickly though. And disaster is no exaggeration.

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“So as the helicopter’s landing, we have a rare moment together no cameras, no microphones, just us and the pilot. And Juan Pablo leans over and whispers something to me. What I thought was going to be kind, sweet nothings was not what came out of his mouth. And I’m just shocked,” Clare explains. She then goes on, “He chose to tell me something that no woman wants to hear. That he really doesn’t know me, and some sexual thing I don’t even want to repeat. It was insulting. It was offensive, and it just made me feel awful.”

All this is voiced over as JP practically drags Clare up a small hill to overlook the sea. She is so turned off. And now she’s angry and confused. “If he can’t tell me that he knows me well, or that there’s something more than a physical connection, then I’m outta here,” is the ultimatum Clare gives. And it’s a fair one. If a guy I had genuine feelings for said “I don’t know you very well, but I sure love f***ing you,” I would punch him once in the teeth, twice in the balls, walk away and never look back.

So tonight, as they meet for the final time, Clare is going to confront him. He arrives and she tells him to come on in. But he waits at the front door to pout like a child and ask for a “besito”. No, Juan. No besitos for you. The live audience claps as she continues to deny the requests for a besito.

So the confrontation begins. She says that he could have said anything in the world to her at that moment, but he chose to do something else. “What did I say? Remind me,” he says because Juan Pablo has the memory of a goldfish and can’t even keep track of the horrible vulgarities he’s put upon the women in his life. Clare goes on that she is worried he said that she doesn’t really know him, and that he doesn’t really know her. “Oh so that’s why you didn’t give me a besito?” he condescendingly asks. I’ll kill him.

Basically, when she is telling him that she wants much more out of life than a physical relationship, he tells her that her feelings aren’t valid because he was being what? Honest! He could sit there and lie to her, but in that moment “boom” he was honest. “What I know of you, I like. But there’s probably parts of you that I don’t know that I don’t like. I don’t know”. The reaction faces in the studio audience are mostly raised eyebrows and stank-glare. Clare threatens to leave again because she has much more to offer a relationship than something physical. Amen, Clare! Stand up for yourself!

“To me the no kissing is the best rule you have ever given me, but you’re the one who broke the rule in South Korea so don’t blame it on me,” he “jokes”. She defends herself and he’s like “I’m just kidding” AND I WANT TO CASTRATE HIM. DON’T YOU DARE SLUT SHAME HER MORE. DON’T YOU BLAME HER FOR ANYTHING YOU HUMAN GARBAGE SACK.

Then something weird happens. He tells her that he’s thinking about his daughter and weighing this decision heavily and blah, blah, blah. So she tells him that those are the kinds of things she wants to hear. What things? Empty platitudes? He explains that she’s so special to him because she met his family…just like Nikki. He talks about the future and having babies with her and moving to Sacramento. And he wins her back over. They snuggle up like deranged kittens. Clare now cries because she feels sure of what he told her. Juan Pablo plays that song by Josh Krajick that they heard on their first date. They kiss a lot. Fool.

The studio audience does not approve. The Bach Fam is disapproving especially. We talk to Sharleen who said it was hard to watch a woman ignore her intuition and be won over by someone being “quite patronizing, frankly”. Sean Lowe agrees “it was painful to watch” and was disappointed that Juan Pablo was talking in circles around her rather than shooting her straight.

Nikki is spending her final date on a catamaran with Juan Pablo to snuggle and sun bathe and swim. They talk about a lot of nothing. When Nikki tells him that sometimes he seems a little guarded, he says no. NO, of course you aren’t, you’re perfect and everyone else is wrong and stupid and you are the most amazing man ever to walk on Earth. EAT GLASS, JUAN PABLO.

At night they spend some time in Nikki’s suite as is custom. She just wants him to tell her that he loves her. She has said “I love you” to him and just wants to hear it back. Nikki expresses to him that she’s worried about things and is thinking a lot. He tells her, “It is what it is.” I would like to find the person who taught him the phrase “it is what it is” and inflict a deep punishment upon them. Bamboo shoots under the fingernails? Water boarding? They deserve pain.

Nikki presents Juan Pablo with a framed picture of them riding horses from the week before. She also presents him with a card saying she’s so grateful for the experience and that she loves him. In return he plants the slowest, weirdest, most fish-lipped kiss on her forehead. I want to die.

As JP leaves for the night and kisses her a few more times, Nikki already begins to cry. And she cries even harder after he leaves because she’s so scared about it all being over and not knowing how he truly feels.

The time is upon us! The final decision will shortly be made known! Juan Pablo is in a suit. The women are putting on beautiful dresses! BUT WHERE IS NEIL LANE?! MY FAVORITE LEATHER SHOE OF A MAN IS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND! The women voice over how excited and ready they are, but I’m still sad about everybody’s favorite Alien Lizard King and Jeweler not being seen.

The women arrive by boat, not unlike D-day and the beaches of Normandy. But who will arrive first and face certain heartbreak? Why, it’s Clare. Oh no. It’s Clare. This poor woman. As much as she is not my favorite person, I don’t actively wish her unhappiness, especially after what she has put up with from this total scumbag.

She arrives at the final podium with Juan Pablo. There are pregnant pauses as they both say how nervous they are. Clare gives a big speech about how through all the doubts and questions, she believes in the something special they have together.

Then he tells her how they’ve had their ups and downs and that she’s there because he wants her to be there. And as he’s talking, you can see her realizing what is happening. “I wish the Earth sucked me in today because this is the hardest decision I’ve ever made,” he says. And then he says that he “has to say good-bye” and goes in for a hug.

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And she puts up both her hands to stop that and push him away. Because YES. She tells him off for not telling her two nights ago when he had the chance that he had doubts or couldn’t see it.His facial expression is so combative and defensive like Clare is the bad guy here.

“I’ve saved this moment for the man of my dreams, and I thought that was you,” she spits to him, pointing a finger at his chest, “I thought I knew what kind of man you were. Sharleen didn’t have the feelings for you. It wasn’t there. Andi did the same thing. You had every opportunity to tell me like those other girls did.”

“Do you know how I feel?” he retorts, “Do you know when my decision was made?”

“It doesn’t matter to me. I lost respect for you,” fumes Clare. And she starts to walk away, but just off the platform, she turns and she points her finger at him and says, “After what you just put me through, I would never want my kids to have a father like you.” And she DROPS THE MIC, AND WALKS AWAY. YOU GET THE LAST WORD CLARE. HOW FUN WAS THAT? YOU RULE. SO MUCH RESPECT FOR YOU.

Juan Pablo says, “Ok,” to her, then, “Hoo! I’m glad I didn’t pick her.” What an absolute child.

She continues to be a strong-ass woman to camera that a real man wouldn’t have done what he did. “Don’t tell me you love f***ing me! Don’t tell me you can see yourself in Sacramento! Just don’t say anything. Don’t. Say. Anything,” she hiccups through tears to us. “Where’s the man that makes me feel like I’m worth it? That would fight for me?”

I mean at this point, does Nikki understand that she is losing by winning Juan Pablo? You couldn’t pay me millions of dollars to be with that man. I’m sure he’s a more multi-dimensional person than the show necessarily allows us to see, but at the end of the day, this man said “I love f***ing you” to a woman he claimed to respect. And then got upset with her for thinking that’s unacceptable. And then rejected her. And that’s the mark of a disgusting and filthy soul.

Oh hooray, here comes Nikki. I’m so excited for her. She does look stunning though. Her royal indigo dress is stunning and her butt looks terrific. Nikki is so positive that he’s going to be proposing, and can’t wait to tell her mom that she’s engaged.

After her speech to him about how much she admires him and loves him. Juan Pablo tells her that he loves so many thingsimage

about her, foremost is how honest she is, just like him. HA HA HA. “It’s like a perfect time whenever I’m with you, especially your hometown. It made me think of your dad,” he says. He goes on to explain that her dad told him to be 100% sure when he proposes that it’s forever, and he’s not 100% sure that he wants to propose. But he IS 100% that he doesn’t want to let her go. “I like you a lot, a lot. So Nikki, will you accept my final rose?” he asks.

And she says, “Absolutely!” CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? THIS IS UN-F***ING-BELIEVABLE. “I LIKE YOU A LOT”????????????? THAT’S ALL IT TAKES? NO. NO. I’M SORRY. WHEN YOU TELL SOMEONE YOU LOVE THEM FOR WEEKS AND THEY RESPOND WITH “I LIKE YOU A LOT” YOU CRY FOREVER AND DUMP THEM SOONER RATHER THAN LATER BECAUSE YOU CAN’T HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH THE SCALES TIPPED SO UNEVENLY. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

And then show ends. Just like that. And in the past, I’ve never recapped the “After the Final Rose” Sepcial. But guess what? I have to. THAT’S RIGHT. Immediately following this post will be the “After the Final Rose” recap because there is MUCH we need to continue to discuss. 

It’ll be in a separate post. See you there in a jiffy!

Filed under Juan Pablo abc bachelor ABC chris harrison clare crawley the bachelor nikki ferrell the bachelor recap the final rose the final rose recap tv recaps after the final rose

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